Louisiana's New Embarrassment is Named Keith Bardwell

He only did it for the kids.

The Story.

I'm not going to go into the story's details. The facts are self-evident and either your appalled at the ignorance this fine example of a Louisiana public official possesses, or you don't see what the big deal is. Psst! If you fall into the latter category, your a piece of shit. Do us a favor and don't breed.


No, the reason I'm writing  is because I saw the paper, then went to the above link to see what the comments were saying. It was just as bad as I thought it would be. The comments ranged from out of state people laughing at the backwardness our state seems to love to present to the outside world, to condemnation from decent people, all the way to the complete insanity from the lunatic fringe that think he's right. Problem is that the fringe isn't quite as fringe around here as it should be.

I realized that in the past few years, the only other national coverage we've gotten has been the Hosanna child rape cult.  The feelings of pride one experiences from this realization are unexplainable. Mainly because there aren't any.

It does reminds us of two things though.

1. The Post-Racial America Obama was supposed to usher in? Not happening.  What is and has been happening is that racism has just enough of a social stigma that the racist will deny being one, while still of course being one. No one, least of all Ballard, believes he's doing it for the kids. He's doing it because it's how he would have done it in his alternate reality where George Wallace became President. The only difference is that he hides his intentions and is stupid enough to think no one will know what he's doing. I suppose it is a step up from lynching. I can't believe I can write that and actually mean it.

2. There's hope. Each generation is a little more integrated, a little more aware of the problem, and a little less willing to stay quiet about race in general and racism in particular. At the same time, the generation that grew up seeing and rooting against the Civil Rights movement is dying off. While it will not supply the ultimate solution, time may do more to advance race relations than anything else.

One mistake we cannot afford to make is to say that this is just one more black eye for a state that has loads, shrugging it off in the process. I hope we don't. We can be better than this, we are better than this. All we need is the courage to tell Bardwell and his ilk that their way is not acceptable anymore. We can take advantage of this stupidity to prove, to ourselves more than anyone else, that we are willing and able to no longer allow an environment where people like Bardwell feel comfortable and, more importantly, justified in spewing their bile.  I know it can be done. I just hope enough of us are willing to try.

Oh and FYI, there's a very good chance that the picture leading this essay is not Bardwell. A good chance as in it's definitely not him. Still, I think as a representation of Bardwell's ignorance as well as a look what the rest of the world thinks we all look like thanks to assholes like him, it does it's job.

The Older I Get, the Weirder Things Are

So I went to the circus the other night, and all I can say is, it sucked. It was complete and utter crap. My kids liked it. I suppose it doesn't take much to seem magical to an eight year old. To me though? It was like all the shine was gone, and in its place was a dark, decrepit, sleaze pit, just waiting to take your money. And yes, before I thought to say money, there was a part of me that wanted to say soul. I can't help it, it was a little back alley creepy. Psycho Circus creepy for any KISS and/or comic geeks out there.

As for the title of this post, I noticed something about myself the other night. Now I'm an asshole, just to be clear. It's not something I'm proud of, and most of the time I can either keep my assholeish (word?) thoughts to myself or at the very least, get by with a socially acceptable, "Oh Shawn, your horrible! <giggle>"  I'm a nice asshole, but an asshole nonetheless. Anyway, as I get older, these cynical assholeish <again ,word?> thoughts seem to be merging with, dare I say it, a hippie like view of the world. And I was always pro-Cartman, anti-hippie. But I don't know what else to call it.

This latest crisis of confidence in my ability to be a thoroughly depressing and bastardly individual happened, you guessed it, at the circus the other night. First things first. I hate PETA. I love animals, but I hate PETA. Back on track, I'm sitting there at the circus, wondering exactly how many kinds of VD the trapeze artists has, when they march out the elephants. I like elephants, I always have; they seem like they just know weird,  interesting, important, things. Things that, when they told you, you'd be all like, "No way! How could I have missed that? Jumbo, you've changed my life forever!" Or something, anyway point is, I like elephants, but aside from the, possibly alcohol induced thought above, I've rarely thought about them. I did Saturday night.

Know what I thought? I thought that the life of a circus elephant sucks balls. Then I felt guilty for paying money to an organization that puts them on display like that. They were going through this act and they just looked pathetic. This circus was in a parking lot in Kenner. The elephants had to kneel on that concrete. Ever kneeled on concrete? It hurts. Imagine weighing a few thousand pounds and kneeling on it. Yeah. So now I want to free the elephants. Along with health care, Palestine, and this country from the Patriot Act. I suppose that really does make me a liberal, which to my family and friends makes me a hippie.  Oh well, I promise to bathe often and not wear patchouli. That'll help some, right?

Today's the Day

Today is this one’s first birthday. While the party will be tomorrow, today he gets to hang out with daddy, eating and sleeping. So as far as he’s concerned, today is a regular day. We know its special though. Love ya Loges. Back tomorrow with pictures of him eating his cake.

Writing Discipline

Check this out!   http://micro-fiction.blogspot.com/ is a great and creative example of the writer’s art. I can’t imagine the effort and the discipline one would need to tell a story in just 50 words. I may try it, though I seriously doubt I would be brave enough to publish the results.

Mass Effect or Why Do I Need to Find Everything in a Game Part 2?

To keep things shorter I’ll jump over the whole PS2 Xbox generation, though I’m already eyeing Bioware with a mixture of admiration and utter contempt at this point. In the modern era we have two games that represent the destruction of my body and soul, or at least usher in a massive influx of OCD gaming habits. Bioware put together Mass Effect which for those of you not aware, is the gaming equivalent of crack to people like me. Modern games have been slowly moving away from the idea that collecting a hundred items, and then doing it again works as a valid plot point. Mass Effect slaps down that idea and sends you right back to a hell that Super Mario Brothers could only dream of. This is the mother lode of things that make me obsessive. To begin, we have a protagonist that has multiple conversation choices, that can lead to different outcomes. This means that right out of the box there is no way for me to get everything my first go around. I need to play it multiple times to see everything. just thinking about it is  raising my blood pressure. But I’ll do it.

The next part just compounds the first problem. You now have the choice to be good or evil. The choice of one can block out the choices available to the other. In Mass Effect it isn’t too bad, as there are ways around it or you can play multiple times. But Fable II! That is a whole other ball of wax. I play it and I hate it at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, it is a great game and I love to play it, but there is a part of me that cringes when I make a choice. I know I’ll need to make a whole new character if I want to make that choice again, as there are no multiple saves per character. At least with Mass Effect, I can save right before a new choice. With Fable I’m effectively screwed.  But I still love it.

Sean Hannity Claims Dems Wish Death on Limbaugh. Wanda Sykes IS the Democratic Party Dammit!

Quick Disclaimer: Apologies for seeming to be picking on the republicans. In real life I can’t stand either of the parties, but I listen to a lot of talk radio so yeah, I hear Rush and Hannity say the stupidest things most frequently.

So Wanda Sykes gets on stage and claims to be hoping for Rush Limbaugh’s kidneys to fail and suddenly all democrats are supposed to be wishing death on El Rushbo. Besides the fact that Rush has the money by now to preserve his head Futurama style, meaning he will outlive us all, why does one person now speak for the entire Democratic party? I never have understood this. During the election when the crazies were yelling things at McCain rallies, why was McCain supposed to rein them in. Why did dems insist that not speaking up meant support?

The answer for both sides is obvious and its why I hate them all. These stupid talking points and non-event political news are what drive our political system. Neither side can or will tackle anything of substance, but they sure as hell can grab the first one liner they hear and run it into the ground for all it is worth. I swear to the sweet baby jeebus if I hear Rush do that Barney Frank imitation of his or Hannity just repeat the same thing, (Rham “Dead Fish” Emmanuel) over and over I will start to stab random peoples eyes out. Or just sigh and shake my head like I normally do.What ever mood I’m in I guess.

So that’s how our great nation is run. We appeal to the least common denominator and hope everyone’s ADHD attention span lasts just long enough to remember the last truly horrible thing they heard. Go ahead and say whatever you want, no one will ever do any research on it. I guarantee you right now there are emails circulating right now saying that Obama, Biden, and Pelosi were screaming for Limbaugh’s death as opposed to one comedian who made a joke. And they are being forwarded, dear God are they being forwarded. If not they probably soon will be, as soon as some rabies infested mouth breather reads just this bottom paragraph and only sees the fourth sentence.

Wanda Sykes is a pretty funny comedian, not the entire Democratic party. Her shot at Rush may be considered bad taste to some, but it is hardly the opening howl of a Rush lynch mob. I’m 100 hundred percent certain that all democrats do not want Rush to die. Now if she had made a joke about his tongue falling out, the dems may have had a problem.

Mass Effect or Why Do I Need to Find Everything in a Game?

With the recent information regarding Mass Effect 2 (Video),  my interest was peaked. Coming off a Killzone 2 jag I realized I had only played through the original Mass Effect once, and had yet to touch the DLC for it. So I went ahead and popped it into my 360 for the first time in a long time.

For a while it was good to be managing inventories and stats again. I finished off Eden Prime and was off to the Citadel. It was here that I realized why I wait so long to play these games. It seems that there is something in my personality that forces me to complete as much of the game as possible. It began harmlessly enough with the original Super Mario Bros. Collecting all the coins in a level was part of the game. Never mind that I HAD to get them all. Every game at this point seemed like it was some sort of collection quest. That was ok though, because the games were small and Nintendo Power was in all my friends grubby little hands. With the advent of the Final Fantasy games on the Playstation, things got a little worse. While collection was still a part of the game in the form of items, the dreaded sub-quest was added. Now there were parts of the game or characters in it I may never see unless I did something specific. Failure to go to the right place or talk to the right character could close off parts of a game for that entire play through. I became an avid believer in saving often. I would also always buy the strategy guide along with the game so I could make sure I would not miss anything. And those of you laughing right now can shut up . I knew about Gamefaqs, but I needed answers then and there. I couldn’t wait for someone with my same obsession to get around to posting. Ok, I know it was stupid but I was driven.

Getting long I’ll continue in my next post….